I have heard my favourite guru Brian Tracy say over and over again in his books and audiobooks that you are happy to the degree to which you feel that you are in control of your life. What that means is, the more you feel you are in control of your life the more happier you are and the less you feel your life is in your control the less happier you are. Most people feel that their life is not in their control, the environment controls it, the boss controls it, the parents control it..So what do we do… Here are five ways to be in control of your life.
1. Control your thinking
So what do you think whole day long? Good thoughts, bad thoughts, positive thoughts, negative thoughts, empowering thoughts disempowering thoughts. We are always moving the direction of our most dominant thoughts. If you spend time thinking about the past, you will feel bad, complain and blame other and the more you do this the more you will feel that your life is not in your control. If you spend time thinking too much about the future then you will be worrying a lot and have this fear of the unknown, you would be imagining the worst possible scenarios. The best thing to do is to think about what you want and avoid what you don’t want. Thinking helps us focus on something and whatever you constantly focus on in your life grows and expands in your life. When you are focused on what you want from life, you will get a sense of control. Let’s move to the next..
2. Control your reading
One question that I always ask my participants during a training session is, “In the past one year, how many books have you purchased and read to enhance your knowledge and skills, there is no answer. So the first requirement is that you read and the second requirement is ‘WHAT’ you read. If what you read most of the time is about rape, murder, terrorism, corruption, politicians, the world is going to the dogs kind of stuff you are going to feel out of control, you are going to feel, I can’t do anything, what’s the use. As the saying goes, ‘Garbage in Garbage out’ If you put in garbage, then under pressure only garbage will come out. If you read about how to increase your knowledge and skills you will become more confident and feel more in control of your life, does that make sense?
3. Control your Speaking
We spend a good deal of time speaking to others. Ask yourself, what do I speak most of the time? Am I complaining, whining, bitching, talking about other people, talking about problems, talking about health problems, talking bad behind others, spreading wrong information. If this is what you do everytime you open your mouth then you can never get a sense of control. But if you speak about your vision, your goals, your plans, ideas, solutions, you will feel good most of the time and feel more in control of your life. Whenever you catch yourself speaking something negative, mentally tell yourself, “Stop, stop”
4. Control your Watching
I was travelling in a local train which was pretty crowded and there was this guy next to me who had an ipad in his hand and earphones in his ears was watching a movie, he was not at all bothered by the constant pushing and shoving and the chaos all around him, he was glued to his screen. We spend a lot of time watching screens whether it is a tv screen, computer screen, ipad screen or a mobile screen. What do you watch most of the time will determine whether you are in control of your life or not. I am reminded Mahatama gandhi’s three monkeys. Don’t see evil, don’t speak evil and don’t do evil. If you spend most of your time watching content that uplifts you, increases your knowledge and skills, makes you more competent then you will feel in control of your life.
5. Control your doing
Finally, what do you do most of the time? I came across a very powerful question which I suggest that you ask yourself everyday, here’s the question, “Am I doing the important necessary activities everyday to become the person I most want to become?” There are only two answers to this, yes or no. If it is yes you are making good use of your time and moving in the right direction, but if your answer is no you are wasting your time and moving in the wrong direction. Anthony Robbins says that you should have daily rituals and you should be consistent in doing them.Make a list of rituals that you could do that would move you closer to your goals and dreams and then discipline yourself to do them without fail. Do them so many times that they become automatic, that’s when your rituals start giving you results. Let me summarize what we have covered in this podcast.
The five ways to be in control of your life are:
- control your thinking
- control your reading
- control your speaking
- control your watching and
- control your doing.
Practice these simple 5 things and you will feel a lot in control of your life.
I am Rajiv Kumar Luv. My passion in life is to make a difference in the lives of people so that they achieve their personal as well as professional best. I am absolutely committed to specially helping youngsters become leaders in their chosen fields. In the past 28 years, I have trained over 100,000 people from all walks of life. Through my two-day program “Leadership Through Personality Development” I help the youth plan their career, build confidence, make better decisions, manage time and develop their employability skills to meet today’s real-life challenges. You can learn more about me and the work I do by visiting: http://www.thepersonalityboss.com