Hey, this is Rajiv Kumar Luv Trainer, Coach, Workshop leader, Author, podcaster, Youtuber and founder of The Personality Boss which conducts the Ultimate Personality Development Program, Course, Coaching, Training and Workshops in Mumbai. I help you design the life you want. The articles that I post on my blog also have one purpose in mind “Leadership through Personality Development” Now over to the article…
Life is all about making choices, you make a better choice your life goes in one direction, you make a bad choice or poor choice your life goes in another direction. For example you can choose to read a book or you can choose to watch TV. You can choose to eat healthy foods or unhealthy foods. You can choose to exercise or just laze around. You can choose to be grateful about what you have or complain about what you don’t have. You can choose to focus on the positive or on the negative. You are making choices most of the time and the better you get at making choices the better your life will turn out to be. Here are 7 Things You Need To Consider To Make Good Choices
If you are absolutely clear about your personal values then you will have no difficulty in making your choice and most of the time it will be a good choice. But if you are not clear about your values, you will be confused and find it very difficult to make the choice. Let me give you an example. taking a bribe… Let’s say someone is offering you a bribe if honesty is one of your important values you will have no problem in making the choice and if your value is dishonesty again you won’t have any difficulty in making the choice but if you are not clear then you will be confused should I take a bribe or should I not take a bribe, if I take what will happen if I don’t take then what will happen
Here’s what I want you to do: Sit down and make a list of all the things that you truly value. Take about 10 items. Now prioritize them and get some clarification on what are your top 5 values. Now whenever you make a choice make sure that it does not clash with your top 5 values.
Whenever you make a choice, ask yourself this question: Will this choice limit me, restrict me, supress me or will it give me freedom. If the choice limits you then it is not a good choice. For example I was doing a part time job as a leathergoods designer and was also working on my dream of becoming a soft skills trainer. Whenever I would get an opportunity to conduct a training program. I would tell my boss, “Boss today I need to go early as I have a training assignment” He tolerated this for a few months and then one day he called me to his cabin and said, “Rajiv this will not work, you can’t keep your legs in two boats, either you work here or do your training. And if you choose to work here, you will now have to work full time at the same salary. I found the boss’s offer very restricting and limiting. I had no difficulty in rejecting it. Almost instantly I told the boss, "I quit” Ultimately what you really want in life is the freedom to do whatever you want and any choice that becomes an obstacle to your freedom is not a good choice. Reject it.
Every choice that you make will take you either in the direction of your goal or in the opposite direction. A choice which takes you away from your goal is a waste of time waste of money and waste of life. Develop the habit of asking a simple question before you make any choice, and the question is, “Will this choice take me in the direction of mylife goals?” You can get only two answers ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ If it is a yes then go ahead and make the choice, you can never be wrong on that.
4. Long term
All high achievers have a long term perspective and all mediocre people have a very short term perspective. By long term I mean5 years, 10 years or even 20 years. Whenever you have to make a choice ask this question, “Will this choice make a difference 5 years from now? If the answer is ‘yes’ go ahead and if the answer is ‘No’ then why make that choice. Low achievers always ask "Will this choice make a difference one hour from now, one day from now or one week from now, these people don’t think beyond their nose. So whenever you make a choice have a long term perspective.
Whenever you make any choice it creates a certain feeling in you. So before making a choice, pick one alternative and ask yourself, “How does this choice make me feel?” Do I feel good? Am I happy making this choice? If you feel bad or not so good then that’s the wrong choice, pick up another alternative and check how does it make you feel. If you are not happy making the choice then definitely it’s a wrong choice. It is quite possible, sometimes that none of the alternatives that you have before you make you happy, then what do you do, pick the best one which make you feel the least bad, under the give circumstances
6. Intuition or gut feeling:
I am sure you would have experienced the working your intuition or your gut feeling. Let me give you an example from day to day life. Let’s say you meet a new person for the first time in your life. This person is well-groomed, smartly dressed, very polite, smiling, gives you a good handshake and has a good conversation with you. Now if you look at all the visible external signs, this person seems to be a good person with whom you can develop personal or professional relationship. But wait, your intuition, your gut feeling does not support your ‘external’ proof and it is trying to tell you “Beware, this person is not what he looks, he is a fraud” If you ignore the advice of your gut feelings you are taking a big risk.
Your intuition is your inner wisdom trying to guide you, protect you and show you a way which best for you. I can give you my own example. I have spent about 15 years in the field of manufacturing leathergoods. But one day I decide to become a soft skills trainer. When I did a reality check nothing supported becoming a trainer. I didn’t have the qualification, nor the experience, my biggest problem was I couldn’t stand in front of an audience and speak. I had to choose between a job and becoming a trainer. My intuition was strongly in favor of ‘becoming a trainer’ it was constantly yelling at me ‘become a trainer’ become a trainer Today it is 25 years since I made that choice. Believe me, I have never regretter a little bit. Always trust your intuition, it is always trying to show you the path which is right and the best for you.
7. Consider other people
Finally, a very important thing to consider while making a choice is how it is going to affect other people whether they are your family members, colleagues, friends or even customers. Let me give you the example of my father-in-law. My father-in-law was living with his family at location A. Now due to the rising cost of living the maintenance cost of the residence becasme a burden which made him think of shifting to location B. Now he had to make a choice, shold he continue to live at location A or move to location B. He chose the second option and moved to location B but did not consider how that might affect his wife and son.
After they shifted to location B, my Mother-in-law lost her enthusiasm as she felt very lonely in the new surroundings, there were no friends to go to, no relatives came over to chat with her, which was very frequent in the previous location. All this affected her health which resulted in going to the hospital more often and a lot of money was spent on medical expenses. She was no longer her cheerful self but now was depressed most of the time. The son too was not happy with the father’s choice, he would look for some reason or the other everyday to visit location A to catch up with contacts there.
So whenever you make a choice consider other people and how it might affected them and make sure it does not work out to be more expensive in the long run.
I am Rajiv Kumar Luv. My passion in life is to make a difference in the lives of people so that they achieve their personal as well as professional best. I am absolutely committed to specially helping youngsters become leaders in their chosen fields. In the past 28 years, I have trained over 100,000 people from all walks of life. Through my two-day program “Leadership Through Personality Development” I help the youth plan their career, build confidence, make better decisions, manage time and develop their employability skills to meet today’s real-life challenges. You can learn more about me and the work I do by visiting: http://www.thepersonalityboss.com